gigglesugar -- Byte-sized comedy.

Product of the Day: Scabs Bandages

GiggleSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:00:00 -0800

At a certain point in a girl's life, she needs to move on from Hello Kitty bandages. May I suggest these brilliant scabs bandages? This is like wearing gray concealer under your eyes. I like it.

Another Reason Not to Save Money

GiggleSugar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 10:44:08 -0800

Meet the piggy bank of your nightmares. This burping face bank accepts your coins with its moving lips, and follows you with its motion-sensitive eyes. I wonder if it tries to kill you when you withdraw your money early. Hey, it's a legitimate question! (I think you can get one — if you dare — here.)

Product of the Day: Hunky Pot Holders

GiggleSugar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0800

This might get me back into the kitchen. And it would go so nicely with those hunky cowboy curtains I now have installed in my living room! I'm sensing a major décor trend. . . (Click here to see more.)

Product of the Day: Necklace That Says Cheese

GiggleSugar — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

OK, folks. Start pooling your change because this is what I want for Christmas. I already have an "I Heart Cheese" T-shirt. And I already have an ironic "Leo" necklace. What better way to broadcast to others what you're really all about? Also, this awesome cheese necklace is only 35 smackeroos — the price of a month's worth of Reggiano Parmesan, by my estimation. Or, like, six movie-theater nachos.

Product of the Day: Bropourri Air Freshener

GiggleSugar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Olfactory experts continue their quest to capture the eau de douche. First, there was Axe Body Spray, and now there is Bropourri Air Freshener for the scent of douche on the go. As if regular car air fresheners weren't bad enough . . .

Product of the Day: Naked Guys With Balls Magnet Set

GiggleSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:00:00 -0800

You know what kind of product you're in for with this kind of tagline: "You don't want to get sacked by these guys." But don't worry about what your friends will think. It comes as a whole set. Because people might think it's strange if you have only one magnet on your fridge of a naked guy holding a ball. Ahem.

Product of the Day: Anatomically Correct Lion Coffee Table

GiggleSugar — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Who needs coffee-table books to entertain guests when you can have them enjoy this anatomically correct, hand-painted ceramic lion and glass coffee table? How thoughtful of him to splay his hind legs and hold his paws up just so that you can have something to rest your coffee mug on. What a good lion.

Product of the Day: Teddy Bear Lamp

GiggleSugar — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Who needs a nightlight when you've got a headless Teddy Bear Lamp? Sure to terrify all of the tots on your holiday shopping list this year! Of course, it's also recession friendly: Give another kid the head, and it's two gifts in one.

Krack Nuggets!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800

It's no fun enjoying your crack all in one shot. That's why Krack Nuggets are my kind of snack. A little Krack Nugget here, another Krack Nugget there. Krazy, baby!

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Product of the Day: Hunky Cowboy Fabric

GiggleSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

"Hunky cowboys in jeans, boots, and hats on a backdrop of desert landscape, cactus, and a red pickup. Imagine a quilt and matching curtains out of this?" Wow. I just did. And I advise you not to follow my example. This is fabric, people — fabric.

Source

Product of the Day: Umbrella Hat

GiggleSugar — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0800

Want to look like you've totally given up on life, or, at least, are too damn lazy to hold an umbrella? Then the amazing Umbrella Hat is just what the doctor ordered. Like a medical torture instrument combined with a clown's umbrella, this fits snugly to your noggin for hands-free convenience! (Dignity sold separately.)

Product of the Day: The Hawaii Chair

GiggleSugar — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 09:30:00 -0800

I'm all for the power of positive thinking, but I think the Hawaii Chair may be taking that idea a tad too far. The selling point? "If you sit, you can get fit" and "Take the work out of your workout." Ha! In my dreams! Throw in, "while eating nachos" and I'm sold. (Honestly, I have a feeling that all this product does is keep you from concentrating on your work. How can doing hula motions while sitting down be conducive to work?)

Condometric Measured Condoms

GiggleSugar — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:59:00 -0800

Condometric condoms measure your man while protecting you! A two-fer for the size queens in your life. Doubles as a banana-measurer!

Product of the Day: Senior Discount Hat

GiggleSugar — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Remember when hipsters started wearing ironic t-shirts? Like, tees with random brands on them and D.A.R.E. drug awareness messages? Then they migrated to ironic trucker caps. Well, I'm throwing another hat into the ring. I'm hoping that I can get hipsters to start wearing these hats that say "Don't Forget My Senior Discount!" with skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors. It's only a matter of time — hell, I want one! Especially for the senior discount.

Product of the Day: Disgusting Perfumes From Goth Rosary

GiggleSugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 03:00:00 -0800

A while back, I told you about a French perfume called Secretions Magnifique, inspired by the smell of blood, sweat, tears. . .and spunk. Since then, I've taken a whiff of it, and although I wouldn't suggest dabbing it on right before a date, it was clearly a well-thought out, conceptual fragrance, which some people really like. Take SM's shock value, subtract the value part, and you'll get the three ~~fragrances~~ odors in Goth Rosary's line of shock perfumes. There's Sea Sick, a tribute to the rank smells of the ocean; Chunder, which, from the looks of the spray bottle, is the smell of vomit; and then my favorite, from a gross out viewpoint, Fromunda, which they call "our tribute to human body cheese." Forget the smell of these things, I can't get the phrase "human body cheese" out of my head! Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot.

Product of the Day: Zombie Brain Jello Mold

GiggleSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Mmmm, brains. Lime-flavored jello brains. Lime-flavored zombie jello brains made from a zombie brain jello mold. I take issue with something, though. Zombies love brains, but who loves zombie brains? Or am I splitting hairs here?

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Product of the Day: Zit Poppers Candy

GiggleSugar — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I wonder if I can get this Zit Poppers Candy in time to hand out to the kiddies on Halloween. Basically, you pretend to pop them and the "bloody candy ooze" (their words, not mine) that comes out has a wonderful strawberry or watermelon flavor. Even better than the disgusting look of the candies is the write-up for this product: "Each insane box of Zit Poppers Candy contains 3.25 ounces of candy zits. That's approximately 16 zits. (We can't believe we're even WRITING this.)" Yeah, I can't either, dudes, but thank heavens you did! Check out the gallery below for Zit Poppers candies in action. Ewwwwww!

People I've Slept With Pillow

GiggleSugar — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:29:00 -0700

People I've Slept With Pillow. It's like a registry for your bed! (Do "overnight guests" add their email address for promotional events?) This is one of those products that could either work in your favor with visitors — or not.

Product of the Day: Man Junk

GiggleSugar — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Apparently, men are jealous that women have all sorts of bath and beauty products made just for them, and the guys have none. Well, now they have Man Junk, a line of, ahem, intimate skincare for a dude's "downstairs captain" (their words, no joke). I'm all for good hygiene, but any guy who's buying special soap for his privates is a little too high maintenance. Then again, I may be underestimating a man's obsession with his own junk.

Product of the Day: Sh*t Box

GiggleSugar — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:20:31 -0700

I'd love to have been in on the brainstorming session for this one. "So, boss, I got a great idea for a product. Materials are cheap. Use value is high. Demand will be through the roof." "Go for it, Junior. I'm all ears." "A cardboard box that you fold up like an accordion when you don't need it, but then open it up and sit on it when you need to take a crap. Give it a bold name, create a cute little poop mascot named Little Jack, and throw in some plastic poop bags." "Genius! It's so crazy it just might work." This thing is around 25 bucks, people! Sigh.

Source

Product of the Day: Mustache With a Mustache

GiggleSugar — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Imagine how much cuter There Will Be Blood would have been if Daniel Day-Lewis had sported one of these bad boys. The Son of Moustachio pillow/toy/handy disguise has the machismo of not one, but two glorious handlebar beauties, all in one snuggly-soft package.

It Had to Come to This

GiggleSugar — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

This is the logical outcome of the Barbie plus Bratz doll phenomenon. (UPDATE: Click here to read the controversy, and thanks to queenegg for doing a little sleuthing!)

Source

Product of the Day: Anti-Theft Lunch Bag

GiggleSugar — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Have you ever made a delish sandwich — oh, say, smoked turkey, bacon, guacamole, and lettuce on whole wheat — only to have it stolen from the fridge by the office sandwich burglar? Well, have I got a product for you. This anti-theft lunch bag has green spots on it that make your sandwich look moldy and nast instead of bacon-y and yummy. Contact this person for more details on how to get your hands on this.

Product of the Day: Flabuless Arm Hosiery

GiggleSugar — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

It's hard to type when you're laughing your ass off, but I'm trying. The innovators at Flabuless have decided that you can't underestimate women's body hatred or the amount of cash they're willing to throw out the window to indulge it. Hence, hosiery for your monstrously flabby arms. I had to scour the website a few times before I realized that you only wear these under your clothes. It talks, though, about how the dreaded hard-to-fix triceps area makes women not want to wear sleeveless tops, which suggests this product will help with that so you can wear sleeveless tops. Me is confused. Anyway, I love the name "Flabuless." They got something right! (Thanks, BellaSugar!)

Product of the Day: Umbrella Bat!

GiggleSugar — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:30:00 -0700

Actually, this amazing thing is not for sale, as far as I can tell, but a girl can dream! Some genius took felt, dyed it with red cabbage juice, folded it over an umbrella and voila! a cute bat with tube socks. Tube socks, people! That is like icing on the cake, right there.

Source and Source

Mmm! Chocolate Crack!

GiggleSugar — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:00:00 -0700

I'm sorry. Correction — Choco Crack. Two great tastes that taste great together! Just ask these two cartoon characters. They seem positively thrilled about this new flavor.

Source

Product of the Day: Bacon Jelly Beans

GiggleSugar — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Think of a product — any product. You won't have to wait too long for someone to make one in a bacon version. Bacon jelly beans are just one more inappropriate bacon offering. Imagine getting one of these in the movies when you ask for a mint . . .

Product of the Day: Funky Bacon Car Air Freshener

GiggleSugar — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

When will the bacon-scented product madness end?! I love bacon as much as the next gal — probably more than the next gal. But the idea of getting into my (imaginary) hot car after Funky Bacon Car Air Freshener has been stinking up the joint with its faux hickory-scented pig strips is enough to make me give up sunny side up eggs, home fries, and bacon for good. (Wow. Never mind. That sounds so good! I take it all back.)

Product of the Day: The Honda Harness

GiggleSugar — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Ever just get sick of walking, but you're not quite ready for a Rascal? Then maybe the Honda Harness is just the thing for you. This thing is still in development, but there's hope for “people who are still capable of walking on their own” but who are just too damned lazy to do it.

Product of the Day: Unicorn Oil Painting

GiggleSugar — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Archie McPhee is my go-to source for fart spray, bacon bandages, and all manner of necessary-to-life sundries. So imagine my surprise when I went there to see that they are now purveyors of fine art! Behold! Unicorn oil paintings by Ramirez, whoever that is!

Product of the Day: Plastinkuzz Miniature DJ Scratch Pad

GiggleSugar — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Take something regular-sized I may be lukewarm about, reduce it to a teeny-tiny size, and suddenly I'm all over it. (Am I 12?) Anyway, this cute little scratch pad called the Plastinkuzz looks like so much fun! I doubt you'll suddenly be invited to DJ tons of parties with this thing, but at the very least you can bug your cat with it, who will then kick your ass. Good times!

Product of the Day: Liquid Ass

GiggleSugar — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0700

I can't believe I'm actually writing this product up, but the one-two punch of its hilarious name (I mean seriously, "Liquid Ass"?!) and this demonstration video requires that I give it some recognition. Oh yeah, and the marketing copy is pretty great: "Liquid ASS is a highly-concentrated, butt-crack smell with hints of green poo, fart, and dead animal. Its uses are unlimited. Spray it in an elevator, car or office cubical. Just a few spray of Liquid Ass is enough clean a crowded room. Get revenge with Liquid Ass." Ummm, excuse me. "Its uses are unlimited"? That is doubtful. Plus, I think the FBI would be on your ass pretty fast if you were spraying something like this in public places.

Product of the Day: Bacon Floss

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Just when you thought the bacon trend was fizzling out (mmm, fizzle sounds a lot like sizzle!) and that people couldn't come up with more bizarre bacon-themed products, along comes Bacon Floss. Forget minty freshness, I want some smoked pork breath, and I want it now!

Product of the Day: Indestructible Piggy Toy

GiggleSugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

OMG. I totally want one of these indestructible piggy toys! You can throw it, stretch it, and do almost anything to it and it will revert back to its regular ol' cute self. Of course, it's from Japan.

Product of the Day: Wish You Were Beer T-Shirt

GiggleSugar — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0700

I'm posting this less because I think this Wish You Were Beer T-Shirt is so awesome (it's so-so) but more because I love the enthusiasm of the dude modeling it. Work it!

Product of the Day: Nature Calls Toilet Deodorizer Drops

GiggleSugar — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I'm not that puzzled that there's a product called Nature Calls Toilet Deodorizer Drops ("anti-poo magic!") that if you put in your toilet water "prior to doing your business" it will "obliterate all unpleasant odor." What puzzles me is that it's being sold on Urban Outfitters' online store. Is this really the brand synergy you guys wanna get going? Hip clothes, furniture. . .and poop deodorizer?

Source

Product of the Day: Enchanted Unicorn Bandages

GiggleSugar — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 08:00:00 -0700

I'm all about unicorns these days, so I think I'd actually injure myself in order to put on one of these Enchanted Unicorn Bandages. OK, maybe I'll just decorate myself with them like I did as a kid. (I had a thing for bandages.)

Product of the Day: Coochy Shave

GiggleSugar — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Look! It's my new favorite product Coochy Shave from my new favorite website, Shop in Private. I love how they spell it out for you by adding "shaving lotion for private areas" after the brand name, even though "Coochy Shave" should be pretty self-explanatory. Shop in Private is your one-stop shopping destination if you're looking for back shavers, fart-smell reducers, or penis pumps. What are you waiting for?

Product of the Day: The Shouting Vase

GiggleSugar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:55:45 -0700

So let me get this straight. I shout into this vase, primal scream therapy style, and this $79 thing muffles the shouts so that a softer, gentler version comes out the other end? Ha! I think not. If anything, I want something that will amplify my pent-up frustrations, like, say, a bull-horn. I love Random Good Stuff's name for this thing: Scream Into a Pillow 2.0

Product of the Day: "Be a Doll" Action Figure of You

GiggleSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

"Have you ever wanted to have a you, but smaller?" Hmmm. No, I can't say that I have. But now that you ask, yes! Yes I would like myself immortalized into a doll by doll artist Cyndi Safstrom. For a mere $160, the doll head is hand-sculpted based on a photo you send in, attached onto a vinyl doll or action figure, and then dressed in the clothing of your choice. There's potential for mucho creepiness here (Chucky, anyone?) but it's an awesome conversation starter on the bus!

Product of the Day: Sh*tBegone Toilet Paper

GiggleSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

I like a product that doesn't tap dance around its purpose. I'm not sure I could handle this manufacturer's name for its tampons or hemorrhoid suppositories, but I can get behind a name like ShitBegone. (If you know what I mean — and I think you do). Thanks Mcbabyblue for sending this in from Marfa, TX!

Product of the Day: "Today...I Am Not a Ho" T-Shirt

GiggleSugar — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700

It's the "today" part of the Today...I am not a ho T-shirt that makes it so awesome. This daily affirmation is more down-to-earth than "I am amazing." That's for chumps.

Product of the Day: Zombie Lawn Sculpture

GiggleSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Who needs a scarecrow when you can place the Zombie lawn sculpture in your garden? Just imagine the following little bucolic scene. You wake up, make some tea with honey, sit down in your lawn chair and stare at this thing's face while you enjoy your plants and flowers. Sounds like a perfect Saturday morning!

Source

Product of the Day: Mio Knight Rider GPS System

GiggleSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

I wish I drove just so I could have this thing on my dashboard telling me where to go in KITT's voice. How awesome would it be to have David Hasselhoff's greatest hits on at the same time? Driving nirvana. I would probably get in accidents from the sheer joy of being knee-deep in all things Hoff.

Product of the Day: Megabrows Eyebrow Kit

GiggleSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:00:00 -0700

I was blessed with bushy brows, so I won't be needing the unibrow from the Megabrows Eyebrow Kit. I may, however, one day need to look like an angry Scotsman or a grandpa. And when that day comes, I'll know where to go.

Product of the Day: Original Acrylic Portrait of Cher

GiggleSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Original in what sense, you ask? Why, it was painted by Patty Nichols herself of Tacoma, WA. Who the hell is that, you wonder? The woman who painted this masterpiece. The shocker for me is that Goodwill has a website! (It can't reproduce that wonderful Goodwill smell, though. And I think you know what I'm talking about.)

Source

Product of the Day: Slime-Drooling Sick Puppy

GiggleSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

This little puppy has a cold. He's drooling slime and plastic germs that players need to pick out of the mess with tweezers. The catch? They can't touch the slime, or they'll get a mild buzzing shock. The player with the most germs wins. If you wanna play again, you gotta scoop all that muck up and put it back into this dog's head. Mega House, a Japanese company, is coming out with these things in August. They're targeted at children age five to seven, which is my inner child's age range, so I'm definitely in!

Product of the Day: Anything and Whatever Soft Drinks

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:00:00 -0700

"What would you like to drink?" "Anything." "Well, I have a lot of choices." "Whatever." In Singapore, this conversation probably goes on a lot. Why? Because they have two soft drinks available with the two words teenagers like to say the most (especially "whatever"). Whatever is a carbonated soda — you'll know that much going in — and Anything is some kind of tea. What flavors they'll be is a surprise. They're like the iPod Shuffle feature, only they're soft drinks. (If you're like me, though, I never like anything Shuffle gives me, which makes me wonder sometimes if it's really my iPod or if I'm just a control freak.)

Product of the Day: Bad Kitty Stationery

GiggleSugar — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

When is the last time you received a letter? When is the last time you wrote a letter? Maybe if you had some Bad Kitty Stationery, you'd be more likely to put your thoughts down on paper with a fancy pen, find a cool stamp, and surprise a friend when she opens her mailbox and sees something besides a "20% Off at Bed, Bath and Beyond" card. (Seriously, people, how do I make that stop?!)

Product of the Day: Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers

GiggleSugar — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

As an avowed anti-fart joke kinda gal, I swear I'm not looking for this stuff on my own. But if you send it, I will post. This product, the Subtle Butt disposable gas neutralizer, might be a great gift for that pal who eats super-burritos for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You'd be doing humanity a favor, really.

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