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Flashback: Jade on America's Next Top Model

GiggleSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I missed Cycle 6, but I'm glad I finally get to meet one of the more creative ANTM models of yore: Jade. I feel like I've seen her before — at one of those awful slam poetry events where, no matter how many shots you do, the ~~poets~~ babblers (I know, I'm a hater) make no sense at all. I guess when in doubt, make up words, just as the lunaticisticalicious Jade does here.

Twin Peeps

GiggleSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:00:00 -0700

Too bad they let go one of the more stunning women on America's Next Top Model. I mean, I know Lauren couldn't walk or even talk properly on camera, but she is amazing looking! She looks just Shirley Manson from the band Garbage.

Source

America's Next Top John Waters Movie Star: Whitney

GiggleSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

America's Next Top Model was so funny last night, I've literally spent the last hour trying to pick just one moment. There was poor Anya falling out of the bus in Rome and then mistaking the word "row" for "roll," Tyra as the Mona Lisa on her Tyra mail card, and Lauren's and Dominique's truly horrifying Cover Girl commercial performances in Italian. And then there's Whitney. For someone who is so hypercritical of her fellow models ("Oh, Anya . . . so blonde."), Whitney sure does kinda suck at everything. (And they say Dominique is like a drag queen!) Here, she's ripped to bits by Paulina and Miss Jay. Ouch. It's survival of the bitchiest up in here!

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Cleveland's Next Top Model: The Talent Competition

GiggleSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:00:00 -0700

It's the show you've all been waiting for: Cleveland's Next Top Model! In this episode, the girls try out for a television spot advertising a local business: Mom's Donuts and Chinese Food. (Classy!) There's the inevitable bored, snotty model who no longer wants to be there and Tamara's Tyra-esque meltdown. "Get the hell out of my garage!" she screams. Ouch!

Weird Science

GiggleSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Take one part Robin Wright Penn, add a smidgen of Ru Paul and you get the fierce, if a bit obnoxious, Dominique from America's Next Top Model. Thanks for the suggestion, FabSugar!

Source and Source

Cleveland's Next Top Model: Part Deux

GiggleSugar — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

It's been less than a whole day since I introduced you to Cleveland's Next Top Model, but I am obsessed — obsessed, I tell you! — with Tamara and her crew. Back at ground zero of CNTM, that is to say, Tamara's garage, the girls are told their next challenge: model swimsuits outdoors in the freezing Ohio winter. There's even a little "smile with your eyes" Tyraism from Tamara's photographer: "It's winter in Ohio," he tells the chilled ladies, "but it better be summer in Miami...here," as he gestures to his eyes. I won't give it all away, but let's just say, I'm wiping tears away as I type.

Introducing: Cleveland's Next Top Model

GiggleSugar — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I know many of you have said that you are over Tyra(nt) Banks and America's Next Top Model. Well, out with the old and in with the new! Cleveland's Next Top Model is sooo much more entertaining. The "girls" arrive in the back of a pickup truck, Tamara conducts her ~~brainwashing~~ coaching in her basement, and instead of a contract with Cover Girl, one lucky "model" will get an exclusive in the Sears catalogue. Fiercee!

ANTM: The Meat Fashion Shoot

GiggleSugar — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:00:00 -0700

It's been a while since they tortured the women on America's Next Top Model. Well, last night's episode made up for that. You know how they say women are just pieces of meat? Well, the "girls" had to pose for a shoot wearing slabs of raw meat. "I eat steak, " reasons one model, "why wouldn't I put it on?" Ummm, how about because it's gross. Dude, I am never eating carpaccio again.

Model to Tyra: KTHXBAI

GiggleSugar — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:30:00 -0800

The most recent installment of America's Next Top Model was pretty dang juicy. And by juicy I mean bat sh*t insane. First, the "girls" were asked to model in an alleyway to raise awareness about homelessness ("It's about them being fabulous and you embodying this mood"). Then, Twiggy replacement Paulina Porizkova told a model she looked like a dude. And finally, my fave part of all is in this clip. Kim, who didn't initially seem like she had a thing in her head, shocks them all by saying she's not that into fashion. The nerve! But what about all the homeless people who are depending on you to raise awareness for them?! Crickets . . .

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America's Next Top Homecoming Queen

GiggleSugar — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:00:00 -0800

Why does Tyra even let the models get in the way? She should just have a variety hour and be done with it already. Here she is mugging it up for the premier episode of ~~America's Next Top Model~~ the Look at me: Tyra Banks! show.

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Quote of the Week

GiggleSugar — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 00:02:00 -0800

"I feel like she thinks she deserves to be here because she's pretty."

— Nigel Barker, handsome and dapper judge on America's Next Top Model, about Jenah, the model who got the boot on the finale after she was coaxed to cry in front of the panel. It's a re-run of something he said, but still. . . It's a modeling contest, Nigel. Should she feel she deserves to be there because of her kindness to small animals?

Source and Source

Barf Alert! Top Model Barbie

GiggleSugar — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:05:43 -0800

She's thinner, leggier, and has hair "down to there." She's the new Top Model Barbie. She's got a seductive gaze, stylishly blunt bangs, and multiple size negative outfits to squeeze her scanty waist into. Who wouldn't want to get their little girl this perfect role model? In three words: this is frightening.

Denmark's Next Top Model

GiggleSugar — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:27:02 -0800

I always thought the challenges on ANTM were cruel, unusual, and unnecessary. The contestants have been made to model in near freezing temperatures while wearing next to nothing, to pucker and pout while up close and personal with hissing snakes, to sashay across the runway in 10-inch heels, and the list goes on. Do everyday models really endure this kind of torture treatment? Apparently, they do.

Tyra Wants to Entertain You

GiggleSugar — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:28:31 -0800

Is America's Next Top Model really about modeling, or is it a place for Tyra to showcase her talents as an "eccentric" entertainer? In the following clip, Tyra dramatically announces to the models that all but one of them is going to China. She then gets down to brass tacks and gives sage modeling advice to Saleisha. Miss J seems impressed.

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ANTM: The Torture Continues

GiggleSugar — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Poor Ambreal. This chick cannot catch a break. Last week she was eliminated, only to get a reprieve because Ebony couldn't handle the b.s. anymore. This week, Mistress Tyra teaches the ladies how to slide down a wall "like a model," but instead Ambreal slides down a pole like a "hoochie." WTF?! She was supposed to look seductive at a club for a music video shoot! And I know that Twiggy was an iconic model from the 60's, but can we have crazy Janice Dickinson back? Either that, or someone tell me what "You need to pop through there" means.

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America's Next Top...Kitten!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0700

A teen writes in to Cute with Chris and asks if her kitten Donut is cute enough to be on America's Next Top Model. What follows is his merciless critique of the splotch-nosed Donut. Don't listen to his advice, Donut! ("If you want to be a model, you have to kill who you are inside.") Please stay just the way you are.

America's Next Top Rapper Reject

GiggleSugar — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 10:00:00 -0700

What happens when ANTM rejects are no longer in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model? You're lookin' at it, and it is not pretty. (Does anyone remember which "cycle" Lisa Damato was on? I couldn't bring myself to look it up...) Thanks, JessNess!

America's Next Top Model (Sorta)

GiggleSugar — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:30:00 -0700

Anyone who's a fan of ANTM will appreciate this little parody. From the "large and in charge" Tyra looking down on the models standing before her, to the flamingo-inspired walks these gals parade down the runway, to the public breakdowns and tantrums, to the greatly distorted and retouched photographs shown at the end of each show, this remake has it all. Only it's funnier. Believe it or not.

(Thanks, Best Week Ever!)

ANTM: Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

GiggleSugar — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:29:20 -0700

It's a personality contest, it's Darwin's survival of the bitchiest, it's a freakshow, it's Gender 101...whatever "America's Next Top Model" is, it terrifies me, and hence I cannot take my eyes off of it. Mila, the pathologically chipper model you see here was preceded by a model who was forced by Tyra to talk about childhood sexual abuse. Natch, that other model was kicked off, and Mila stayed. Put on your seatbelts, ladies, it's going to be another bumpy ride...

Heyyy...More Planet Unicorn!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 11:45:00 -0700

"Planet Unicorn" is back and better than ever! In this episode, our flamboyant unicorn friends are inspired to become models after watching an episode of "America's Next Top Model." With their good looks, do you blame them? The problem is: there are three of them and only one can "be on top." Can their friendship survive the competition, or will the catwalk end in a planet unicorn cat fight?...Not if Tyra can help it. Enjoy! (Thanks, Best Week Ever!)

Twin Peeps

GiggleSugar — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Eva Marcille (former America's Next Top Model winner Eva Pigford) and Shar Jackson. You know when K-Fed's former wife is more famous than you are, you'd better step up your game. My apologies for moving from D-listers to Z-listers. Pretty soon, I"m just going to find facial correspondences in random strangers off the street.

Source

American Apparel's Next Top Model

GiggleSugar — Sat, 05 May 2007 10:40:15 -0700

On this episode of ANTM, Tyra takes the girls to an American Apparel photo shoot. Uh, classy. But it gets even better: the photographer is none other than AA's unconventional CEO, Dov Charney-- a man inspired by 1970's amateur porn. Can the girls rise (or sink?) to the occasion by meeting Charney's demands to model like slutty coke whores? Watch and see for yourself.

America's Next Top George?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 03:00:00 -0700

Eat your heart out, Tyra--Georgie Boy Costanza is in the house! Scared yet? Chill out. Creepy camera boy Kramer has it all under control and assures him that this will be "tasteful." Hmm... With a four-eyed, moobalicious, knee-sock wearing model, I don't know if "tasteful" is how I'd describe this!

Family Guy & ANTM = FABULOUS!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:00:00 -0700

This is the entertainment merger to end all mergers: ANTM and Family Guy. In this clip, Tyra(nt) goes on a Tyra(de) about how hard she's had to work to get where she is. How many times do we have to hear this? She sounds like someone's mom. There's a twist at the end...wait for it.

Does ANTM's Jay Manuel Wear Too Much Makeup?

GiggleSugar — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Jay Manuel spends a lot of time critiquing the aspiring models on America's Next Top Model--sometimes mercilessly. So I figured it was time to turn the tables. Leaving aside your opinion on dudes with makeup on, does Jay Manuel wear too much makeup?Source

Does ANTM's Jay Manuel Wear Too Much Makeup?

Yes

Wait--that's not a Madame Tussauds wax statue?!

America's Next Top Reject

GiggleSugar — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 15:00:00 -0800

Modeling is great, but day jobs are fun too- unlike grandma's knit poncho...

Sexy Jess on Vimeo

America's Next Top Model, "Cycle" 8

GiggleSugar — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:00:00 -0800

They always eliminate my fave models in the first round! This hottie from the Bronx was funny, had a smokin' bod, gorgeous face, and someone else's weave on. (Well, it was hers at first but...it's a long story.) What's there not to love???

Model Vs. Gravity: Round Two

GiggleSugar — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 04:00:00 -0800

We first saw it on ANTM and here we go again: supermodel slip n' slide. That's gotta hurt...

Great Moments from America's Next Top Model

GiggleSugar — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 09:32:00 -0800

I remember this model. She was really snooty and treated people badly when she won challenges. Not that I'm saying I ENJOYED this or anything...

Supermodel Slip 'N Slide

GiggleSugar — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 04:02:00 -0800

If you didn't get your fix of supermodel slip-ups by revisiting one of my favorite America's Next Top Model moments earlier this week, then watch this next video clip. It's jam-packed with models taking the plunge and sending themselves a little south of the runway.

And Now, An America's Next Top Model Moment...

GiggleSugar — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 14:25:00 -0800

Here's a clip of nice Danielle from ANTM falling all over herself. I enjoyed it more when I thought it was crazy Monique. (BTW, this is why I wear Converse sneakers.)

Twin Peeps?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 04:02:00 -0800

America's Next Top Model winner Caridee and actress Naomi Watts

Time to Eat Up, Twiggy: That Is, Insert Foot In Mouth

GiggleSugar — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 13:00:00 -0800

The girl that put skinny on the map is now grown up and speaking out against all the waif-like wannabes in Hollywood. Lesley Hornby, better known as "Twiggy," believes that actresses are to blame for the sudden surge in eating disorders, not models. Twiggy says:

"I think Hollywood stars are the worst perpetrators. Most models are naturally long and gangly, while a lot of these young girls in Hollywood have gone on extreme diets. Their concave chests and bony arms are terrifying. It's scary to think that normal teenagers are tempted to copy them."

In other news, two "naturally long and gangly" models recently died due to malnourishment, triggering some countries, such as Spain, to ban size zero models from their runways. This is a curious resolve, considering that the problem resides in Hollywood, not on the runway.