gigglesugar -- Byte-sized comedy.

The Barbizon School For Modeling: The Cure For All That Ails You!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Except, maybe, your lack of a modeling career. Back in the day, Barbizon used to put out ads that all but promised you'd become a model after walking their hallowed halls. Now? Well, let's see. You'll have confidence. You'll be able to present yourself to others better. And you'll get a surrogate family. (What's a few thousand dollars for all that, right?) Says one woman who makes me a little sad, "I will go to my grave saying that the best thing I ever did was go to Barbizon." Oy.

Flashback: The Love Rug

GiggleSugar — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Every era has its favorite place for "making love." (Does anyone even say that anymore?) In the '60s, it was anywhere, but preferably in nature. In the '80s, in a boardroom on a conference table after everyone else had left the building. (I'm just making this up, I'll have you know.) In the '70s? For some reason, folks loved doin' the nasty on rugs, in front of fireplaces, while mood lighting and music enhanced the scene. I guess for couples who wanted to swing but were afraid to, the Love Rug gently inducted them into three-ways: "As you stroke, it strokes. The incredibly soft, furlike fibers caress your bodies from head to toe. It's almost like having another lover there with the two of you." A furry rug lover. Sounds sexay to me!

Source

Flashback: Denis Leary's Interesting Drunk Driving PSA . . .

GiggleSugar — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Which is really an ad for Holsten beer. I know Denis Leary is prosmoking, but I guess he's anti-drunk driving. I've always wondered if any of these public service announcements work, but "Drink, drive, and you'll be an asshole" is as good an anti-drunk-driving message as any, I suppose. And, of course, now I can't get this song out of my head.

Ewww!

GiggleSugar — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 02:00:00 -0700

Who are the twisted freaks coming up with these ads? I didn't like Skittles before, and I'm less inclined (to put it mildly) to like them now.

Flashback: Bernie Mac and His Hot Sauce Murse

GiggleSugar — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:00:41 -0700

Videos like this Saturday Night Live ad spoof for Tabasco's hot sauce carry purse make me realize how much I'll miss Bernie Mac. His earnest delivery convinces me that I need this very purse to feed my nacho addiction. There's even a murse version! "Oh it’s still a purse, but it's for dudes, and it has hot sauce in it." Sold!

Budweiser Salutes the Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator

GiggleSugar — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Nudist colonies fascinate me. I'm pretty squeamish about getting nekkid, so the idea of walking around naked as a jaybird in front of a bunch of peeps acting all normal boggles my mind. (Jiggly and awkward tennis, anyone?) This Budweiser ad, part of a series in which they give props to "Real Men of Genius," salutes the unsung hero: the nudist colony activity coordinator.

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Why You Should Hire a Pro to Write Your Ads

GiggleSugar — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

"Come on in and we'll satisfy all your 'buts.' That's Harrelson Toyota, South Carolina's #1 'but" satisfier. " (I wonder if they're in the proper zoning district for this special service of theirs.)

Thanks, eBaum's World!

Finally!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I never thought I'd give American Apparel free publicity but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised to find these two young hot boys in an ad instead of some underage-looking chick in leggings tying her shoelaces, ass up. Progress works in funny ways, doesn't it?

Guess What This Ad Is For?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Let's just say that it's not very kind. But you probably figured as much.

The Amazing Non-Blinking Woman

GiggleSugar — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:00:00 -0700

I thought this ad was going to be for eye drops or something, so I dutifully waited until the end to find out a) what the ad was for and b) how the not-blinking contest would go for her. Let's just say it was bad news and good news.

WTF?!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

This freaky spokes-bot for some kind of sunscreen product is distracting me from the product itself. As the folks at AdFreak say in their YouTube writeup, "The last few seconds will haunt your dreams." I think they may be right.

The Worst Case of Beer Goggles in the History of Drinking

GiggleSugar — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

This genius commercial for IBC root beer exploits the alcohol shame fears of anyone who's had one too many the night before. Watch as this guy wakes up to discover who he had a wild night with. It's enough to make us all switch to root beer!

Guess What This Ad Is For?

GiggleSugar — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:00:00 -0700

WTF?!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:53:08 -0700

This Estonian meat commercial must be a guerrilla marketing campaign from PETA. How else can one explain an ad that makes its product the most repulsive-looking thing ever — reverse psychology? (Hopefully, this is publishing long after you've finished lunch!)

R.I.P. Bennigan's

GiggleSugar — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

It's a sad week, people. Bennigan's has filed for bankruptcy. Where, oh, where am I going to get my deep-fried cheese sticks, chicken strips (aka "Chicken Fingers"), and well, fried whatever with a blue cheese dipping sauce in a friendly, corporate, nondescript atmosphere? (Oh yeah, pretty much anywhere!)

Thanks for the hilarious video, AdFreak!

Thicker, Slower, Better

GiggleSugar — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

That's a bit of a salacious tagline, but the following ad is strictly Rated G. This commercial for Frijj, a milkshake drink sold in England, plays off of its super-thick consistency. Remember the '50s movie The Blob? People ran down the streets screaming when that thing was "chasing" after them. This Frijj blob? Not exactly swift.

Guess What This Ad Is For?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:05:00 -0700

It's not for a product, but rather for a service. Guess what this lovely ad is for?

It's Not Delivery — It's DiGiorno!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:25:00 -0700

This is one of those taglines that we've grown so accustomed to that we don't really stop to consider its nonsensical nature. (That's how they getcha, though.) At least it makes more sense than, "When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime!" In any case, this guy seems to have taken "It's not delivery —it's DiGiorno!" as the answer to all of life's problems. His girlfriend begs to differ . . .

Guess What This Ad Is For?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Umm, isn't this pretty inappropriate? Don't worry, it doesn't advocate roasting children. (So you can eliminate that answer!)

Flashback: '60s Eat Rice Ad

GiggleSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

"Va-rice-ity" is the spice of life. And if rice is too ~~plain~~ healthy, then why not dress it up with — oh, a little bacon, sour cream, or shredded cheddar cheese? I'm sure your man will love that.

Source and Source

Guess What This Ad Is For?

GiggleSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

It's obvious, and yet it's not.

Flashback: The Tan People

GiggleSugar — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:00:00 -0700

This old Coppertone ad could double as a horror movie poster. "They're coming to get you, Baaarbara!" "Who?" "The Taaan Peeeople!" Ack!

Source

Ruh Roh!

GiggleSugar — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Harold the QVC salesman is so sure about this ladder that even though it begins to buckle and loosen, he climbs on it anyway. You can tell the co-host looks a little skeptical, but Harold is gung-ho all the way to the bitter end — when his face meets the floor. Now that's salesmanship!

An Extraordinary Nutsack

GiggleSugar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:30:00 -0700

Ummmmm, you guys might wanna rephrase that?

I Want One!

GiggleSugar — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Not only is he cute, but he'll take care of you in a pinch. (I'd keep him in the passenger seat next to me, though. Why hide a cute monkey in the trunk!)

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Guess What This Ad Is For?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

It's a fad that's been around for a few years, and it hurts. Oh, does it ever hurt. Guess what this ad is for or about?

Herpex: The New Wonder Drug!

GiggleSugar — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 01:00:00 -0700

Some commercials for herpes medications make it seem like having this virus is a freaking walk in the park, or hike in a national forest, or fun time for everyone involved! In a parody of such ads, this commercial for Herpex herpes medication claims it will give you superhuman powers. Coming to a late-night television spot near you.

Flashback: Sega Ad

GiggleSugar — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Now this is what I call subtle advertising. Why shout when you can whisper?

Source

Life Is Unfair

GiggleSugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700

It totally blows that only kittens get to act any way they want to. I guess being that cute has its privileges. This is yet another Whiskas commercial, courtesy of Jennipoo. And how amazing is the name "Whiskas"? I just want to say it over and over again in a Jimmy Durante voice. Whiskas, Whiskas, Whiskas. . .

Um...Awesome?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

This ad for Audition Dance Online might be the best commercial ever. That dude is making my dance moves look, in retrospect, lame and anemic. I don't really know exactly what the heck ADO is, but I know I'll be busting out this pelvis thrust move in the clubs the next time I'm out. Yee ha!

Tampax Really Knows How to Nix the Menstruation Taboo

GiggleSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

As if there isn't enough weirdness surrounding the menstruation taboo, the creative minds over at Tampax deem it fun and appropriate to suggest that menstruating women can suck the water up out of pools — because of the highly absorbent artillery they shove up themselves for period relief. Thanks to tampons, absolutely nothing can escape a menstruating woman's vajayjay. Nothing! Which is exactly what we women want: the ability to suck everything up there. Right?

WTF?!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Oh, I say, "WTF?!" but I really, really love weirdo commercials. Take this Old Spice "Double Impact" body wash ad. It washes. And it moisturizes. (Men care about moisturizing now? I didn't get that memo.) The important question is, is he hung like a centaur? (I just had to.)

Charmin Thinks Ass Hygiene Is the Sh*t

GiggleSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Have the toilet-paper people run out of crap to talk about? For a long time, the buzz was about how "soft" various brands were, followed by the exciting "double-roll" sitch, and now . . . TP butt residue? This is fearmongering at its finest. I can't say I'm familiar with the "pieces left behind" problem, but now that Charmin raises the issue, I'm officially paranoid. Toilet paper clinging to my shoe, I can handle. Butt my ass? Let's not go there.

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Johnny Has Two Daddies

GiggleSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:00:00 -0700

Well, he calls one of 'em mum. I think this Heinz Deli Mayo commercial is quite adorable, but it seems that the jolly ol' folks in England don't agree. It's been the most complained about commercial of the year because of the kiss between (gasp!) two men. C'mon, people, it's the 21st century last time I checked! And tell me you wouldn't have wanted a mum this cool! He's butch, he cooks, and he sounds like one of the dudes from the Sopranos!

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Ewwwww!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:20:00 -0700

Introducing: Poop Freeze, the product that turns dog poo into a frozen Poopsicle for easy disposal. This commercial could so easily be mistaken for a parody, only. . . it's not. My favorite part of it is when they keep showing close-ups of a bewildered looking dog. He's all, "You know what? It's not my problem. I poop, and they can do whatever the hell they want with it. Leave it. 'Frost it and toss it.' Whatever."

What's the Big Idea Behind This Sneaky Gatorade Ad?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I watched the following vid and was overjoyed to see a chick finally kick arse at a male sporting event. But a little research later revealed that our bat girl never made this Spidey-inspired catch; the vid is actually a staged advertisement for Gatorade. The illegitimacy of the play makes me wonder if the Gatorade folks are mocking women's athletic potential with this ad, or on the flip side, if they're seeking to unsettle established gender norms and advance the girls-can-do-anything message. Or a bit a both? Tell me what you think.

What's the Big Idea Behind This Sneaky Gatorade Ad?

Give Gatorade a break. Why would the company alienate a portion of its customer base?

Oh yes, Gatorade's laughing: "If a woman pulls this off, it's gotta be fake. Ha, ha, ha!"

It's questionable, but who cares? Go girl power!

Warning: Buy This Car and You Will Get Eaten

GiggleSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

The folks over at Ford wanted to announce that their Ka city car is now roomier and can accommodate more peeps. Why they chose to market this message by showing a (nonpurple) people-eating monster binge on a car full of defenseless passengers is beyond me. It's just doesn't seem very kosher.

Did You See the Insane Advertising During Gossip Girl?

GiggleSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

An unnerving new trend in advertising is to bypass the commercial breaks and promote an upcoming TV show while another show is in progress. Miniature versions of the other show's characters walk into view and perform unnecessary antics while the show you intended to watch is up and running. Frankly, it's rude. So these two dudes decided to parody the new phenomenon and promote their fictional show, Cop Nation, during a highly dramatic episode of Gossip Girl. The results are hilarious.

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Photographer Has a Sick Sense of Humor

GiggleSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 04:00:00 -0700

This can't possibly be good for business.

Thanks, College Humor!

Isn't the "Cashman" a Little Too Old for This?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

This ad starts out as any low-budget pawn shop commercial would: some overly energetic douche stands too close to the camera while begging to buy your junk from you. But William Oliver, the self-titled "Cashman," doesn't settle for run-of-the-mill. He knows how to differentiate himself from the rest — by way of a sleazy jingle and a few scantily-clad backup dancers. Novel, no?

Hair Down There? Don't Despair!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

We're living in an age that seems frightened — nay, terrified — of crotch hair, or, to put it more delicately, hair on the "bikini area." In the '70s, hairy everything was the rage and now? Nothin'. Even dudes wax their brows! Well, this hilarious parody of Japanese-style commercials, complete with B-movie scare tactics and awesome sound effects, turns that fear of hair down there into a commercial that could be a horror flick. (I wish our ads were this good! And FYI, I don't think that's really Japanese being spoken, but I could be wrong.)

Horny Hedgehog Sells a Sponge

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Sex sells, but there's nothing remotely sexy about a sponge, especially a dirty sponge. Well, some advertising sleazeball thought a filthy sponge was exactly what this world needed, so he made hedgehog-on-sponge porn and called it a commercial. It's shameless, unnecessary, and my poor dishes now feel betrayed.

But I Wanna Be a Cat!

GiggleSugar — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:00:00 -0700

Please? I definitely have the "I live for food" and "Don't bother me I'm sleeping part" down to perfection.

Ouch!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:00:00 -0700

Umm, yeah. . . I think I'll be needing that eye. But thanks anyway.

Source

In Photoshop We Trust?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Many of us compare ourselves to the models and celebs we see in advertisements. Big mistake! Photoshop is alive and well in the world and — with a little added color or toning or erasing — it makes everyone look new and improved. Sneaky, sneaky. But the tool has a way of revealing itself from time to time, if we just look close enough . . . (For more Photoshop gaffes, click here.)

Source and Source

Ewwww!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Here's an official plea to marketing and advertising folks: Please do not feature talking chickens and/or chicken carcasses anymore! I'm not even a vegetarian (I can't imagine how they view these things!) and I find it beyond gruesome that they continue to feature chicken characters who practically beg to be cooked! (Like those depressing Foster Farms chickens.) Stop the insanity!

Flashback: '50s Cigarette Commercial

GiggleSugar — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:00:00 -0700

The smokers of the 1950s had no idea just how harmful lighting up could be. At the time, there was no hard evidence to definitively link cigarette use with chronic or fatal health conditions, so tobacco companies had free reign to claim that their "snow fresh, filtered cool" smokes would leave the throat feeling refreshed and clean. Hmm. Is that what throat cancer feels like? I can only imagine. (Want more old-fashioned cigarette propaganda? Click here.)

WTF Is Sweden On?!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:15:00 -0700

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a nonsensical Swedish McDonald's commercial. Today, I stumbled across six nonsensical Swedish McDonald's commercials. They're all part of the same funked-up ad campaign. And they're all pretty damn effective, if you ask me.

Advertising at Its Finest

GiggleSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 04:00:00 -0700

I understand how a grammatical error can sneak into place, but when that error is displayed in the largest size font used in the ad — there's a problem. "Eat kids free"? Mmmm. Each of these advertisements flubbed the sales pitch, but scored big on laughs — which isn't a bad selling point, now that I think about it. For more unintentionally funny ads, click here.
Source

Car Salesman Will Satisfy All My WHAT?!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

You know what they say about fetishes: The more you try to suppress them, the more they'll consume you and take over. Mr. Harrelson Toyota has something other than cars on his mind — an obsession of sorts — butt I can't quite put my finger on it . . .