Remember — as this child is hiding behind his friend, clawing at his hair, and then pounding his own head with a stool — that he's at a freaking puppet show! Let's keep him away from
Jigsaw as long as we can. I don't think he (or those around him) would survive it!
It is always an exciting afternoon when the FAO Schwarz holiday catalog arrives. While I may still be planning my Halloween activities, it is never too early to sit down and thumb through the book of extravagant toys for children of all ages. This year's edition was filled with massive stuffed animals and a $10,000 military ATV, but what really caught my eye was the new
Muppet Whatnot Workshop that is due to open next week.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but pointing is rude, no? So why is this creepy ass puppet on The Wiggles explicitly instructing our impressionable tykes to point their fingers — up, down, every damn place? (Then there's the question of where this puppet is pointing exactly — down where?) Sesame Street may
get a bad rep, but at least Big Bird and the gang aim to teach our kids a little more than how to hold their own at a rave.
The same guy who brought you the
puppet version of David Hasselhoff drunk now presents the puppet version of the year-old holiday classic, "D*ck in a Box." Mixing puppets with sexy time is so wrong, and it only gets worse when you get a glimpse of JT's puppet incarnation— it pretty much sucks the sexy right out of the singer. Why, puppet master, why?!
Elijah Wood made an appearance on "Yo Gabba Gabba" to teach kids how to do a little jig he calls "The Puppet Master." It resembles something one might do in a group aerobics class, which isn't all too strange. However, there's something about that one-eyed critter in the back row that gives me the heebie-jeebies and makes me feel a little sorry for Elijah.
We've seen some
darn creepy PSAs on the this site, which is why I initially mistook this for the real deal. Thankfully, it's not. I'd never do anything endorsed by this depressed looking dude and his half-dressed, oversized puppet, but I might recommend he make an appointment with a good dentist!
To get kids to shy away from pornography, a porn patrol group staged this puppet show involving "Pete the Porno Puppet" and, of all people,
Ron Jeremy-- porn star extraordinaire. In the show, Ron instructs Pete to keep his puppet paws off of dirty mags and vids and although Ron seems sincere, he uses big words that kids won't understand and drops the word "sex" as many times as possible. I don't know about you, but I'm confused...
Did the world really need a puppet version of the depressing
video of The Hoff eating a burger off the floor? (Define the word "need.")
