The masters of satire over at
The Onion have this faux news story about a YouTube challenge to its users: Make a video worth watching. The requirement? That it be somewhat watchable, provide a shred of enjoyment for someone other than the people who made the video, that the person who shoots the video have a reason for doing so other than, "I own a camera," and that the person shoots it while sober.
A reporter's thankless job sends him into a stable full of cows where he's placed in front of a desk as well as "the business end of a cow," as his correspondent far removed from the stable so colorfully puts it. And what do you know! As if on cue, the cow does what cows do with their business ends.
One of the most hotly contested races of this most historic of election years was in Colorado's State Senate District 14, between Bob Bacon (D) and Matt Fries (R). Well, the voters have spoken, giving Bacon a clear mandate. Let's hope he reaches across the aisle and joins Fries and fellow party members (with a little cheese thrown in) to create a Bacon-Cheese-Fries coalition.
Just in time for lunch! I'm often straining my brain to find ways of squeezing the funny out of everyday things. But this news story about a possible dead mouse baked into a hot dog bun kinda writes itself, especially when a "Master Baker" (say that 10 times fast) is quoted as saying that what looks like a dead mouse is in fact hardened dough or "pan accumulation."
I heard a standup comedian the other night who said that vegans were the last group of people it was socially acceptable to make fun of. "Hell," he continued, "even vegetarians laugh at them: 'Have an egg or some dairy, man, live a little!'" So this news clip should come as no surprise. A reporter discusses the rise of a vegan movement whose adherents claim they won't have sex with anyone who eats animal-based products.
Someone just got majorly pantsed on the evening news. As this news anchor is describing a drug bust in progress, a cop walks out with incriminating evidence. And by incriminating evidence I mean, "intent to possess and deliver 44 pounds of .
Your attention please. The chairman is about to take the floor.
Meet Ship's Captain, the first openly gay horse to compete in a major race. Rumors have swirled around a number of famous horses since time immemorial, but since they chose not to disclose their sexual leanings, other homosexual horses, including plough horses and ponies, have had to remain in the closet. (That must be one huge closet!) Thank heavens that horses who love horses of the same sex can now love openly, and without shame.
You think nipple slips are damaging! Slipping vowels can cause trouble, too.
It's that time again, time to see if you can sort fact from fiction, real headlines from fake ones! Get on your mark, get set . .
