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Group Therapy: We Wanted a Threesome, but Now I Want Out

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

My boyfriend and I have have been tossing around the idea of having a threesome. I stated a couple months ago that it was something I fantasized about, and he of course thought it was a fantastic idea! He is willing to have a threesome with another guy if I'm willing to have one with another girl — we agreed on those terms. I picked the guy, a good friend of ours who lives out of state that we hardly see, and now that I gave him a name for the guy, he wants to choose a girl.

Here's where my problem lies. He recently named a girl he works with (that I have never liked) to be the other woman. His reasoning for choosing her is because she's had threesomes before, but now I'm starting to have second thoughts about it altogether. I feel myself getting jealous and I think it could be destructive for our relationship. How do I break it to him that I changed my mind? I feel like he may never forgive me for going back on my word.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Group Therapy: My First Love Had Become Obese

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I met my first love when I was very young and I thought he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. We dated for years — he was my best friend and my lover. Two years ago we had an extremely difficult breakup. Ever since, I occasionally cry in bed thinking about him, but we haven't been in touch since the split. I still love him dearly, and I know I'll never be able to love anyone as much I loved him, although I'm currently in a new relationship.

A couple of days ago, out of curiosity and boredom, I started looking for him online. I came across a website of someone he's close with and was able to find a few of pictures of him. To my surprise, I could hardly recognize him. He had always been on the slender side, but he seemed to have gained an enormous amount of weight. Since then, I am so worried for him that I constantly go back to that website to take another look at those pictures of him. I am concerned for his health and curious to know what caused this massive change. If I try to get in touch with him, I know we will end up getting back together but I can't bear to go through what we went through before our breakup again. I just don't know what to do. Should I leave him alone or reach out to him?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Need advice about a guy... already posted once just want more advice to make the right decision.. please comment..

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:22:23 -0800

There is this guy in my class. I have had a crush on him since the beginning of the semester.. I knew he had a girlfriend so i didnt dare go for him. Out of the blue we started talking. And flirting... The conversations got really hott and heavy. It was decided by myself as long as he was taken we werent going to go any further. Meaning nothing sexual, etc. He was all about having sex with me and getting with me. Also his girlfriend cheated on him and had sex with another guy about 2 weeks ago. I dont see why he would stay with this girl when she had sex with someone else So a couple of days ago we hung out and he cheated on his girlfriend with me, we made out for 2 hours. I know its not much but its enough to be considered cheating. At this point we have talked about being together and its iffy because he says he still love his girlfriend. I dont see how he can still love his girlfriend after making out with me for 2 hours and knowing she had sex with someone else. I need help!!! I like this guy a lot and i want him to go for me and get rid of this girl. What do i do???? Do i continue to make out with this kid?? I dont want to be led on but i dont want him to be out of my life yet?? Also something i should throw in there that some people see as a big deal but i dont.. Im 21 years old and he is 18 years old. HELP!!!!

would it be inappropriate to move in with the boyfriend?

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 10:36:13 -0800

i am 18 and going to be attending college soon. Its a few hours from here and i have had an amazing boyfriend for a year now. The college that im going to be attending does not have room and board, so i am going to be getting an apartment either alone or with 4 girls from the school. I was wondering if it would be inappropriate to get an apartment with my boyfriend? i dont know what my mother would think, so i wanted advice first. I love my boyfriend and dont want to have to leave him behind. And if getting an apartment together is not a good idea, what could i do?

Group Therapy: Dating an Older Guy

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I just recently got out of a six-month relationship. What was supposed to be a minor break, so that he could manage his time better, turned into a messy breakup that left me totally turned off from the relationship. Thus, I found myself ready to date again much sooner than I would have thought. Almost instantly I was asked out by a guy who goes to my college. He already has his bachelor's degree, but is now getting a degree in nursing. I'm currently working on my masters. But we haven't actually met yet (he found me through our school's network on Facebook, and then on MySpace). We have our first date set for this weekend.

I'm excited about dating again, however, I feel a bit wary about the fact that he's 29 and I'm 24. The five-year age difference isn't so drastic, but all the guys I have dated have always been just a few months older than me, so I don't really know what to expect. I consider myself to be a high-achiever, someone who is serious about her career, but I also have a very silly, girly side. He seems to be very introverted and a high-achiever as well.
Does anyone have any insight on the best way to play my date this weekend?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Single and NOT loving it...

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:38:59 -0800

I think I'll get the hard part over with first: I've never dated, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never been kissed. What's worse? I'm 21. Most of my friends have absolutely no problem finding and picking up guys. My best friend is practically married.

I'm tired of being in the middle of conversations and lying through my teeth to save face. And no matter where I am, people feel the need to tell me their awkward sex stories. There are guys who are interested in me, but unfortunately I'm just not interested in them. Some people have suggested dating them to "get one under my belt", but if I feel nothing, isn't that unfair to them? I wouldn't want a guy stringing me along if he wasn't interested. For clarification, when I say interested, I mean more than friends.

If there is a guy I'm interested in, I definitely engage in a conversation and a bit of flirting. They just never seem interested in me.

So, what is the point of this post? I don't know, I'm just sort of fed up. Anyone else in my position? Any tips to get out of this rut?

Group Therapy: Will He Ever Love Me?

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I am 20 years old and in love. The only problem is I'm alone in that love — or so it feels. My boyfriend and I have been together for just about a year and he has yet to tell me he loves me. My question is, does it really matter that much if he says it? We're together almost every day, and are both absolutely crazy about each other; from the outside looking in, it seems we're both crazy in love, but he hasn't said it aloud yet.

I did bring it up one time. I'd been feeling it so strongly that I let my guard down and I told him first — it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. He hugged me and kissed me and seemed glad that I had told him, but it generated no mutual response. He said he was flattered, but just wasn't ready to say it yet. He reassured me that he will, and when he does, I'll know he means it. But I'm worried — I'm not sure what it is that makes me need to hear it from him so badly, but I just want to know we're on the same page. I feel vulnerable and confused. He means the world to me, we have (otherwise) an incredible relationship, so is it wrong that he hasn't said it yet?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Help! My laptop was stolen and some very "personal" stuff was on it.

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:26:46 -0800

My laptop was stolen, and my external hard drive (that had everything on it) was stolen with it. Luckily there were no "personal" pictures/videos of me, but there were a couple videos a friend had given me. What should I do?

A man is only as sick as his secrets.

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:15:09 -0800

Not one to normally watch "Desperate Housewives" I managed to catch an episode. This statement, "A man is only as sick as his secrets" was in this episode. It did not take me long to realize that this show is mostly about hiding one's secrets and what happens to these women that attempt to hide things. I thought it would be interesting to open a place to post those secrets we have held onto for far too long. So...post anonymously or otherwise...and get it off your chest and get rid of the guilt.

is there a chance of we getting together again, after THIS break up?

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:04:18 -0800

I am 25 years old. here is the story.

a month ago:

I reunite with this friend of college, we get together a couple of times more in a few parties of friends in common.Then he tells me suddenly that he likes me since college, that he didn't saw any interest of my part, so he let me away and went to have a couple of GF, one of whom he was gonna married, but didn't.

A week ago:
after a couple of dates, he went to see me to my house, we went to movies, etc, I finally tell him I did want to be her GF.After a lot of years (5 years!) without BF, I told myself "you do like him, give it a shot!"I talked to a couple of our friends, to see how they think about it, they didn't tell me not to, but tell me "well, he had a long relation ship, he was going to get married, he could get weird…" and some other things. But I wanted to feel it my way.

a couple of days ago:
after 4 very happy days, I feel so nice with him, we could talk, and laugh and kiss, etc, one day, out of nowhere, I swear I didn't see it coming, he told me that he thought things thoroughly and that he had make a mistake, that he isn't ready, that he had unresolved issues about his ex. I took it very calm in front of him, that I knew about his past, that it was OK. When he left, and I saw my sister in law I start crying, I can't understand clearly why. I felt so good with him, I was having a very nice time, and I tell you, I didn't see it coming! We were OK one day, the next day, literally, he broke up things.

Now:
I talked to a couple of friends and 2 of them told me that maybe, maybe we still have a chance if he resolved his issues. We did break up nicely (uh!?) That he was sincere and he need it more time. This was only a week ago. So WHAT TO YOU THINK?

Group Therapy: My Sister-in-law Betrayed Me

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

Recently my sister-in-law and I were both pregnant at the same time. My daughter came first in May and then she had her son in October. Even though we weren't really a close set of couples, we are still family. When it came to baptizing our daughter, we chose my brother and sister-in-law to be the godparents. My husband and I assumed that we would be asked the same honor of their son; however, my nephew's baptism is coming up and they still hadn't said anything to us. I asked my mother, who then broke down crying when she told me that they chose my other sister-in-law and her husband over us. I feel very stabbed in the back. I called my brother to explain that I was hurt about this decision, but he didn't seem to understand. Now I just feel stupid and hurt and I almost regret choosing them to be the godparents of my child. The baptism is coming up but I just can't seem to let go of this anger I feel. Am I wrong to be jealous and hurt that I wasn't chosen? Please help with any advice so I won't let this ruin my feelings for my brother and his wife altogether!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Guy Friend Gone Bonkers

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:23:18 -0800

Where to begin? I met him at school and while I wouldn't say we were really friends then, he was always really nice to me. I told him I was in love with him, he didn't feel the same but we decided for some reason to be friends over this. We've been friends for three years now, maybe even best friends. He's always there for me. But when I got married last summer, things changed. He stopped acting like a friend and started fighting with me all the time, going on about whatever girl he was with that week, then suddenly, he went off the deep end and told me he had found his "soul mate." I wanted to stay friends with him but couldn't understand his strange behavior. It went on like this for 5 months, he couldn't talk to me without being a total jerk, so I told him off and said we shouldn't be friends anymore. (and btw, he broke up with his "soul mate" 2 days later) But then I felt guilty.. and now I miss my friend. My question to you: What happened with him? and should I still hope we can be friends again someday?