What does the invitation say?

Well usually the answer would be not to ask. Is everyone else paired up? If you're going to be one of the only ones there solo then I'd ask - but preface it with "I don't want to cause awkwardness and I'll totally understand if you say no because it IS your day...."

Didn't we have a question like this not too long ago?

Anyways, I would just assume that she omitted him from the invitation on purpose. If she wanted you to have a date, then she would have put plus one. I wouldn't bother asking, because right now she probably has way other important stuff to worry about. It's only a few days, so you'll be fine without your boyfriend.

http://dearsugar.com/1552618

why not bring him with you for the trip but exclude him from any specifically wedding-related activities? i'm sure he'd understand, and then you don't have to ask your friend anything uncomfortable, but you can let her know not to be worried if she sees you around the location with him.

Planning a wedding can be really stressful, let me tell you, your friend is well aware that you have a boyfriend and if she wanted him to be there, then his name or "and guest" would have been on the invitation. This is her and her fiance's day, its not a vacation for you and your boyfriend. I say leave it alone- a wedding as small as you are describing tells me that EVERYONE there is the family or closest of friends of the couple, your man is not.

And yes there was something similiar posted recently, but that girl was the maid of honor and she was FURIOUS that her bf (of 4 months) wasnt invited to the destination wedding.

If money is such an issue, offer to cover his costs perhaps?

My thoughts were in line with slinkygirl. He comes but does not come to any wedding activities.

I SWEAR we just had the exact same question!

I guess I would ask...but don't expect anything from her - he obviously wasn't in her plan

If this was me I probably wouldn't ask at all and let it be. She knows you have a boyfriend, and if she wanted him there she would have invited him.

Have you thought about bringing him to the place the wedding is but not having him come to the ceremony/reception there? It sounds like this could be a nice little vacation for the two of you.

Is his name, or "and guest," printed on the envelope? If not, the answer is no, and do not ask the bride if he can come.

I just got married two months ago, and I had to field questions like this right and left. It's a really stressful time for the bride, and if she wanted to invite your boyfriend, the invitation would have stated that.

Everyone thinks they should be the exception, but it's rude to put someone in that position. Read any Miss Manners or Emily Post book if you don't believe me.

We let our wedding party bring a date whether they were with someone or not. BUT, when one of my husband's friends asked if she could bring her boyfriend (who we never met and she was with for 2 months) we told her that we wanted to see how many people RSVP'd no. If there was enough (we invited more people then the venue could hold) then he could come. We ended up telling her that she could bring him, but they had broken up by then

IMHO, if you had to pay for your own plane ticket and hotel room, I think you should be able to bring your bf along, just leave him out of the wedding festivities. But if she took care of all your expenses, then I think it is a bit selfish to ask her if you can bring your bf - even if he pays for his own stuff.

I think asking politely is fine, as long as you're not pressuring the bride. At my sisters wedding, some people just brought dates even though they weren't given a plus one!

That is BEYOND rude, DCStar, and something my family would probably do. At my wedding I'm setting aside enough money from the budget for some big scary bouncers to keep uninviteds out.

You can always just bring him and meet him after the ceremony!

We did just have the same question. Apparently it's repeat day/week/month on DearSugar.

Seriously, another of these questions?

If the invitation is only addressed to you then you shouldn't ask.

I just don't understand why people have such a problem with this?

No you cannot bring him to the ceremony and reception unless he is specifically invited on your invitation. Trust me, there is enough stress on the bride as it is, she shouldn't have to worry about all her friends asking if they can bring dates.

I agree, Kimpossible...why is this such an ordeal for people? If it really bothers you that your date isn't invited, then just don't go to the wedding!

She'll send you an invitation (even though you're part of the wedding party) and if it's addressed to just you, then just you is invited. But if she writes "and guest", then of course, you should bring your guy!

I wouldn't ask her, I'd just wait for the invite to arrive.

No, please just suck it up. I'm planning a very intimate wedding and so every one of the 15 guests on the list has been carefully chosen as someone who we want there to share this day of our lives with - people who love us, support us, and who'll always play a big part in our lives. It'd put me in an uncomfortable position to have someone ask to bring a guest along that I barely knew. I'd want to say yes out of politeness, but I really would prefer they just didn't ask at all.

Even bringing him along but leaving him out of the wedding activities is a bit dodgy IMO. I'd feel bad as the bride in that situation - I wouldn't want my guest to have to leave out the boyfriend they brought with them. I'd also feel a bit pressured to relent as long as they're already there and let them attend. It *might* seem a little bit passive aggressive. It's just a bit off I think.

You get to bring your boyfriend to the reception back home. It's not like you'll be going to this massive wedding all alone without a partner. If it were me, I'd take along some good books, and just enjoy relaxing on my own in between the festivities!

You should totally ask if it's okay. I'm pretty sure we had this one a couple weeks ago.

in short...NO

I disagree. I think it would be rude to ask -- surprisingly, a lot of people assume that they get a guest or ask to bring someone but if you were supposed to bring someone, you would have been given a "and Guest" on your invitation. To even ask about it is rude.